The complaint is rarely “I have gained weight”. It is more specific and more infuriating than that: “I am doing exactly what I have always done, and it has stopped working.”
That is an accurate observation, not a rationalisation, and it deserves an accurate answer.
Two separate things happening at once
The first is ageing. Between forty and sixty, most people lose muscle steadily unless they are doing something deliberate to prevent it, and less muscle means a lower resting metabolic rate. This part is not menopausal, it happens to men too, and it is almost entirely preventable with load.
The second is menopausal, and it is about location rather than quantity. As oestrogen falls, fat storage shifts from the hips and thighs towards the abdomen and around the organs. Women describe the shape changing before the number does, and they are right. That is also the change that matters for cardiometabolic risk, which is why waist measurement is a better tracker here than weight.
The thing that gets it wrong
The instinctive response is to eat less and do more cardio. In this decade, that combination costs you muscle, which lowers your metabolic rate further, which means the next round has to be more severe than the last. It is a treadmill in the worst sense.
The evidence points somewhere less intuitive: eat more protein, lift progressively heavier things, and let the calorie arithmetic follow from that rather than lead it.